Everything i talk about i know is right for me and i hope that pieces of it might be right for others period you've got your perspective i just want to be happy don't you want to be happy so nervous hi michelle where are you from.
I'm from georgia amazing what's going on so much for what you do i watch you like every day you've really changed my life thank you how so oh my mindset like i was basically before i was following you i was just trying to find out what would make me the most money in life.
And um i graduated with a marketing degree went straight into sales for like a year and um i don't want to say i hated it because my first job was pretty good i'm so nervous i'm sorry don't worry you're doing well my first job was pretty good but my second job i was so miserable.
Like i i was just so depressed and then i decided to move home good and now i'm i'm living with my parents and i'm kind of trying out different things because i've always wanted to be an entrepreneur and maybe not on like a huge scale but.
Just doing something little by myself because i don't know it makes me excited that's good how do your parents like having you home they love it i'm really close with them so close to my parents too like i i spent a lot of time with them during this quarantine and like it wasn't enough like it's so fun like i.
I actually would live with my parents my whole life like super down for it i love it i just um i'm gonna be getting married in like a year so then i'll be moving out but other than that i would live here forever i love that i love that i love that i love that what can i answer for you.
Okay so um my dream since i was like 13 i'm 22 now has been to be a content creator and i'm still not sure what i want to do um like what topic but i've just been making like tick tocks like following trends or like random thoughts throughout the day.
Um but i get really put down by people's comments and i've been watching what you say and like how you say don't listen to them but i'm just like a really soft person i'm really sensitive so i have a really hard time let me help you let me help you let me try to help yeah the biggest thing the biggest thing.
That um um that you need to realize is they don't know you and there's two things you have to you have to be empathetic and feel bad for them like do you want michelle listen to me do you know how sad of a place somebody is in.
That they have taken the time to watch your video and say something to make you feel bad so that you can feel bad with them do you understand how sad one feels like i i'm not joking and i think people think i'm just trying to cheer somebody up i'm not joking when people say .
About you like you're ugly that's stupid you're not funny you're dumb that's wrong you don't you you like i don't know how to do anything other than feel really bad for them yeah it's what's really hard for me is like i have a lot of confidence in like my abilities and like i believe in.
Myself a lot but there was a lot of people like commenting on my appearance which is something that i can't help and i just think it's like a horrible thing to do and for some reason i believe it every time like i believe that they say i'm ugly i believe it and it makes me like not want.
To post anymore look i we all have confidence and we all have lack of self-esteem i in places for example michelle i can walk into an arena right now with 80 000 people right now if somebody called and and said we need you.
It's the first public gathering in new jersey you have to give a one hour keynote we're outside you have to go right now we're going to the jet stadium that life stadium you have to go right now now i would be so pumped i'd be thrilled i'd be like in the car thinking what the  am i going to say i'm going to be.
Like all right  around you know like um right i can do that if somebody called me right now and said on t with garyvee you have to read right now here's a piece of paper you have to read this i would be unbelievably concerned i would be super like.
Self-conscious because i am a very poor reader and like like it just really really really is anxiety for me like sitting around like during like very like the high holidays like reading at passover like like like i'm scared with my like my family so so you have a lot of confidence in.
Some areas and in other areas you don't just like every one of us the reality is though you have to recognize that first of all looks beauty is uncomfortably subjective it's just subjective and you have to really understand that the people that are.
Saying that to you are in a really bad place you're gonna have to figure this out you know that right yeah in a good way like it's just practice it's like working out it's just practice so what are like practical things that i can do like.
Actions whenever i get a comment like that like is it like a thought that i have in my head like yeah what can i do to build that muscle i everyone's different let me tell you what i do when you feel exactly like you just talked about.
I think you should make pretend that your parents died in a car accident i know that seems super weird what i do is i go to a place if i'm struggling and i create a scenario in my head that actually speaks about real life and makes me realize that johnny 97 talk talk saying that i'm ugly really.
Doesn't mean a whole lot in a world where i'm driving now to the hospital and i've lost my two best friends 30 to 50 years earlier than i should have that's one tactic i'm serious that's one tactic that may or may not work for you the.
Other thing that you need to do is go to a place of confidence for example i remember in high school very recently i remember this when i would do really poor in school and have a real tough day when teachers really  on me right which was never fun even though i.
Was confident i would double go home and like focus on my sports cards like i would go to a place of confidence right but the number one thing you need to realize is that it's in your own  head i'm laughing because i'm watching the comments.
Of like so many guys being like i don't know who said that but like what's up like i'm ready to slide into your dm like you have to understand like you're you're deciding you're deciding that that person's right versus the people that tell you you do look like you're deciding you're deciding.
I know and i hate that we all have things we hate but you have to realize you can actually change it but most of all and i'm going to give you something really important i think the thing you need to realize is that you can't take compliments in when you get them in whatever you get.
Them in it's it's it's why it's so it's actually why i find the most insecure people around looks are actually the ones that the world collectively agrees are beautiful really yeah because they get so much positive affirmation.
They become susceptible to the negative so much more i've been shocked as i've gotten older through the years like boys and girls like that i i would argue that the attractive are even more vulnerable to the negative comments because they take so much pride in the positive comments.
I think i think the reason that i can deal with my negative comments is because when i get a goat emoji or i'm the best or i'm a hero or i'm a especially with like now that sports cards are exploding everyone's like you are nostradamus  you you you say you don't predict you predicted this.
I hear that and i'm like i don't know i don't i almost don't it almost doesn't come in which also doesn't let you're full of  gary you were handed out it doesn't you understand yeah i think couple things one is perspective.
You know ricky thompson saying you're ugly versus your best friend you know dying from corona is a big difference yeah and those things can happen in life and all of a sudden when they do people realize why the  was i worried about other  right number two trying to really really go to.
A place of positivity immediately as an immediate medicine it's only a medicine because you got to really work on the macro but when you feel it immediately forcing yourself into places that you make you happy as a quick juxtaposition which sometimes makes you not dwell on the negative as long.
Number three and the most important one don't let compliments land either okay i really appreciate that before i let you go because i'm not letting you go that easy one of those three resonate or don't resonate like talk um i think all of them i don't think i take compliments.
To like heavily i think what about in other categories what about in other categories good grades uh well um like other parents liking like not maybe you understand not things where you're vulnerable in the other places.
Yeah and the other places yes like i i always my ready let me let me show you something all those years when my friend's parents were like gary you're so nice i'm like luck of the draw dna oh wow yeah see like got it yeah yeah it makes sense because when i was a.
Teenager i basically um i was always looking for like the positive affirmation from people and in school even up in college i was always like getting a's because i wanted my parents to be proud of me i wanted to make other people proud people be like oh she's so smart.
Like so i guess yeah i don't really take the compliments on tick-tock too seriously but in real life i do what else what about the perspective what about literally understanding that somebody on tik-tok that's like why are you making these videos you're so  ugly versus the people you love more.
Than life literally being terminally ill talk to me about that have you ever tried you ever play that game have you ever done that i've experienced it not that someone's died but like i've experienced being sad about something that's kind of trivial and then something.
Really bad happens and then i'm like oh why was i sad about that now like i mean can you give me that example i can't remember exactly what happened but i do remember being in that position a few times good i'm trying to think of it let me help you even more if you can't think of a specific time then the really.
Bad thing wasn't really bad i'm talking real  with you yeah no really this really helps me and i know this one's a little weird and sometimes when i put this out people are a little weird with me on it i'm like look nothing listen let this let the record be stated forever.
Nothing i talk about do i think i'm right everything i talk about i know is right for me and i hope that pieces of it might be right for others period and the story signature done so back to what works for me i'm talking about real  i'm talking about really imagining like the things that would make you cry.
Yeah like who do you love the most give it to me in the top five my mom my dad my grandma my sister and my fiance great those five people dying oh yeah like tell me like i always do this like on the day when you got your nastiest 50.
Comments on tick tock you getting a phone call from your mom crying that your grandma died how much do you give a  about tick-tock i would not care at all that thank you so much you're welcome so much.
Please practice that i will definitely want to make pretend like i do multiple times a week like sit there and almost meditate like oh my god this person died i'll never see them again like let it set in because what happens.
Then is when you go on your normal day that other  is  trivial so you think about it even when something bad is not happening like to just like throughout the day if you're having a fine day you just think about it michelle i think about it every day.
Which is why every day is a good day i like that it was so funny when you just said when you're having a bad day every day i have bad things happen because i'm a very involved in the world person people try to drag me down business things go bad you know i have a thousand person.
Company companies getting sued there's not a single day that i don't have things that would make other people because i'm a real entrepreneur i'm full like that like you know like every day i've got  but because i do what i told you it for me a massively.
Bad financial thing or or like really like nasty situation feels less than one person on tick tock saying you're ugly to you right now and i want you to be where i'm at badly so they don't  matter 89 year old michelle does not give a  about terrence 96's comment in 2020 on.
Tick tock yeah the  are you worried about being ugly or not being ugly anyway you got a fiancee i know i don't know why i'm here because i feel like we talked about it media have to be beautiful people won't like them what's that.
I mean you see like i think you said something super ludicrous that i want to talk about for a second what did you just say to all the girls on tik tok that have like the following or people on youtube they're all they look like models i feel like that's the only way.
You know what a model looked like 20 years ago no she was skinny as  and her name was kate moss do you know what a model looks like now she's curvy as  looks like she's from  brazil or to your point has the financial means to have so much.
Plastic surgery that she can look like a different version of herself or filters or lighting or angles what are we talking about here and listen i i will never go into these waters fully because first of all i'm not a woman second of all there's so many dynamics in play here but let me promise you.
Waters that i'm very comfortable swimming in other people's opinions are the greatest way to go to unhappiness one opinion you of yourself is the easiest way to get to happiness you hold too much value in the collective outside world's opinion.
And you need to systematically from this day on chip away at that and make them matter less okay because what you're doing is you're playing one big game of junior high in high school yeah i hate it i really hate it let your life i watch 30 40 50 60 year olds every day still live in high school i see 25 year.
Olds still living in high school that what that's not fun know there is embarrassed you're  helping so many people right now you're a reverse of course really you should see what's going on in the comments you're listen to me you're talking about what is on the mind of 98.
Of young women in the world and i hate that like any different than anybody else on this every single woman and guy for that matter under 25 is in this mindset yeah people care too much now there's and now there's numbers around popularity yeah.
I just wish people would like collectively people would be valued for like how kind they are and how what you think we're trying to do out here huh that's what i'm that's what i'm trying to do out here yeah that's why you like my show that's why you.
That's why i've helped you we're not out here talking about numbers i'm out here yelling that facebook and instagram and youtube should hide the following count when i'm one of the biggest beneficiaries of it i want it gone because i but by the way this is not facebook and tick tock and.
Instagram's fault this is human being's fault we can't have our value tied up in other people's opinions ginger a great community member said metric suck they don't suck our interpretation of them suck the following count and likes don't suck.
We suck at valuing that over what we want to say and who we want to be in the world you can easily win this game michelle you really can i'm gonna try it every day i'm telling you it's about perspective getting into simplicity.
Not valuing other people's opinions that don't know you understanding that it's judgment what do you think every guy's the hottest in the world no well guess what  what's the problem here like like what yeah you know how unhappy so many of those girls you admire are.
I have unlimited messages from them about their unhappiness you know how not fun it is when you're 26 and you're smart as  and you know a ton about health and wellness or wine or sports cards but because you're so attractive the only affirmation you're getting is when you show tna.
You know how you know sad that is i can imagine it's real it's just like somebody who's wealthy who was born into it who's sad and everyone said well i'll take that like like you know everybody wants to live in somebody else's shoes until they live in somebody else's shoes.
Yeah there's unhappiness in every single way you can be lucky that you're the version of what's beautiful at this moment let me promise you this when i was in junior high having a fat ass was not hot you may get lucky that your looks are matching what the current world's.
Version of beauty is but that doesn't have anything to do with  happiness beauty is so  subjective yeah i really want to get to a place where i don't care at all the way not to care at all the way not to care at all is to value.
Kindness and empathy it's to value who somebody is not what they look like you know you can do this but you need to practice about perspective like the hell and the health and well-being of the people you love is so so important listen the world is the world's going through such a.
Transformation i really believe that kindness and things of that nature continue to grow in importance and will and people will be valued on that but you have to value yourself on that yeah that's real it's very real michelle like you like you have to value yourself on that.
I never thought of it like that but yeah if you value yourself on who you are as a human then the then the things about looks don't carry weight right now you value too much looks yeah i do which is why those things resonate with you you're so smart um you know what.
I'm just fortunate it when it comes to a couple of very narrow things and one of them is just  the simplicity of life if you're willing to go there do you feel like experience taught you that or do you feel like you were just born with that mindset yep both most.
Both i got lucky with the dna i got fortunate with my experience i got unbelievably lucky with my parents i got unbelievably lucky that i grew up on my own two feet um and i got unbelievably lucky that my talent is observing people and understanding truths that are universal.
And then keeping it simple and then i also got lucky in that my great happiness comes from providing happiness and a million other things you know and that's and by the way that's why i don't think i'm special that's why i'm deflecting when you say you're so smart that didn't feel good to.
Me huh because it's back to like how i've trained myself you know what i mean like i don't want that like as a matter of fact it's my biggest gripe with my team i don't allow them to we don't put out content being about like i'm smart because i don't think that brings any value to anybody.
I'm smart what does that do to me it's like i'm trying to bring value please please please get your life into perspective you'll be so happy you did every day hold your grandma my grandma's 85. you'll be lucky if you have another 100 hours with your grandma every 20 minutes you spend on crying.
About rick thompson saying you look shitty is 20 minutes you could be facetiming your grandma no i'm not gonna cry maybe i wanna cry perspective really helps michelle you know what i mean yeah you know all of a sudden you like it's just these kind of this is practice this is you and i are doing.
Push-ups right now you know that kind of like helping people realize things they don't see when you realize holy  he's right 100 hours maybe the hell am i laying here for the last 40 minutes dwelling about one comment on tick tock yeah that really put things in.
Perspective and it's those kind of things over and over and not just the one time you were randomly on with garyvee no no next thursday in the shower you know two weeks from now randomly when it pops back up in your head and then you practice and you practice and you.
Practice and what ends up happening is now you are facetiming your grandma now instead of dwelling you are making your own content so you're on offense instead of defense and it did it did it and all of a sudden and all of a sudden next thing you know next thing you know this is now your new life this is how you see the .
World thank you you're welcome is there anything that i can do to help you when i tell you that if you can one time when paul shits on you if you can just take that moment and put it into 85 year old grandma time that's.
A real win for me i can do that awesome thanks for being on thank you hey everybody on youtube first of all thank you so much so humbled for your time i don't want to watch but time is the biggest asset so thank you for watching that video if uh if you got some value out of that there's a plenty more where that came.
From feel free to check it out